Christmas Stocking Gift Guide

OH my goodness! It's already December!? I'm one of those people who shops last minute. I don't budget or plan or strategically shop the sales to get everything on my list. Maybe next year.

I put together a few things you could get the woman in your life to put in her stocking. These are just a few things that caught my eye! What would you ask for?

The first few things are from Sephora, shocker! 

This Josie Maran Argan Sugar Balm Body Scrub is AH- MA- ZING. Talk about spoiling yourself. If the woman you're buying for is anything like me, then in the cold New England months the dry skin is insane. This stuff is one of the only things that helps my skin stay moisturized. 

Then you have the Glam Glow Supermud Clearing Treatment. I've been really into skincare since moving to Massachusetts. The weather changes have been really hard on my skin. Sephora's website says it more concisely than I can. (This formula was clinically developed by GLAMGLOW® dermatological chemists to help fight all common skin concerns including breakouts, discoloration, black and white heads, razor bumps, and in-grown hair. Powerful, skin-clearing mud visibly draws out dirt and congestion while a proprietary six-acid blend dramatically brightens and softens skin. It works to magnetically draw out dirt and pores with Activated-X Charcoal, leaving skin smooth and healthy-looking.)  In my words? It helps the mess of things that my skin does when it freaks out. Seriously give me anything by Glam Glow. Speaking of anything... 

This duo of Poutmud Fizzy Lip Exfoliating Treatment and Wet Lip Balm Treatment is incredible. So incredible, in fact, that lately the website can't keep it in stock for more than a few days at a time lately. Grab it while they have it, and sign up for the email alert so they'll nudge you when they get it back in stock. 

Tarte, oh how you have my heart. Not as much as Glam Glow does right now, but their products are out of this world. This mascara pumps my short straight lashes up so much. It's almost like my favorite loreal one, but this makes my lashes longer, fuller, and bonus? The waterproof formula helps keep the curl in my lash all day. 

Now if you wanna get something a little more personal, I'm in love with these necklaces. Anna Saccone recently came out with a zodiac sign line. Her father passed down a pendant like this to her. She was so inspired that she made her own line of all the signs. This one is my son's sign. If she doesn't have kids, get her yours or her sign. The chains come in 3 lengths. Personally I'm a fan of the shortest one, but it all depends on her style. They also come in a silver and a rose gold. So cute!

Another jewelry option is Pandora charms. Whether she has a bracelet or not, these little guys are perfect to go in a stocking. My hubby to be and my son pick one each for me every year. It's a tradition I've come to treasure. I can wear this bracelet every day and no one knows the meaning of my charms. These Minnie and Mickey are on my lust list right now. Not a disney fan? (what the hell is wrong with you! --kidding....kind of --) They have others as well! 

Last, but definitely not least, are the Dreamer Flannel Pajamas from Victoria's Secret. I love these plaid ones, because they feel so festive to me. But there's also a print called 'Tis The Season' that calls to me. They have non holiday ones too if you're looking for something a little different. 

What's on your list? Do you have any go to's for small filler gifts? Let me know what they are!!

An Open Letter to the Father of my Son

Hi,

I don't even know how to greet you. Hello seems much too formal for someone who I share a child with. Though, maybe that's a good thing. Keep it unemotional. But how do I keep it unemotional? Maybe 'hey'. Nope. Too nonchalant. A letter of this gravity and emotional weight shouldn't be preceded by a 'hey'. Your name? No, it's been too long since we've communicated. Just sounds....unfamiliar.

You know, he's going to be three on Saturday. He's this whole person already. He's starting to come into his own. I see an adorable attitude emerging. He's rambunctious, like you. In the 1090 days I've spent with him, I still find any resemblance to you unsettlingly painful. I am left with a myriad of secret longings, which I would, of course, never tell you about. I would like to see pictures of you as a baby, a toddler, a schoolboy. Did he look just like you? Because in my baby pictures, I see so much of his face. I would like to visit the place where you come from, drink wine with your parents, to take a photo of you and I. If I were him, I'd want a photo of my parents together. Mostly, though, I want to know why you're not there for him, why he won't receive so much as a post card from you this weekend.

Anyways. I wonder what you're feeling. Right now, in this moment, and in all the moments of all the days since I last saw you.

Did you shield yourself from feeling pain when we moved so far away? Did you feel overwhelmed and stripped? Like you didn't know what you were supposed to do anymore? It's okay, you know. It's natures way of shielding you from feeling it all at once. Did you know in your heart that it was for the best? Did you take it personally? The more you thought about it, the stronger you were getting. If you knew it or not, you were getting stronger.

Were you angry? Angry at me for moving, for giving up on our relationship? Because he could've used you sticking around. I hope not, because you know we weren't getting along, and because your relationship with him shouldn't be affected by your relationship with me. Because he deserved your effort. Are you angry that you don't know him? Are you angry with yourself? If you are, don't let it keep you away. The door has been and will always be open. Please, if even the smallest part of you wants to, take the opportunity.

Did you run through the 'what if's and the 'if only's? I can tell you that there's very little merit in regret, but maybe you needed to think those things. Maybe you needed to process everything. I hope it didn't just find fault you or I, or what you thought should've been done differently. I'm sorry for the hurt you must've felt. He is a beautiful, smart, weasel-his-way-into-your heart kind of kid. I can't imagine what you felt.

Are you sad? Saddened because you aren't going to be here? Because you haven't been? Because of everything you've missed? Because of everything you will miss? His strong, soft little fingers tugging on your shirt, his shy smile hiding below the edge of the crib, with just his baby blue eyes glimmering at you from his dim room. His sloppy, wet, perfect kisses. His belly laughs, discovering his skills. Hell, mastering those skills? Feeling him sleep next to you. Hearing him sleep next to you. Are you sad because you didn't experience those things? I know we talked about them. I know you were excited.

Are you hurt? Hurt that I made it difficult by moving? Because you didn't stop me. Your phone calls and messages got fewer and further between. Your family stopped sending him gifts, then cards. Are you so hurt that you said things about the mother of your child, that you probably shouldn't have said? I hope not. Did I hurt you in the process of doing what was best for our boy? I didn't mean to. I really sincerely did not mean to.

I hope you wallowed for a while. I hope you allowed yourself to experience those feelings. It's the only way to get through them. But I hope you didn't let it destroy you. When he goes looking for you, I hope he finds a good, kind, accomplished man. I hope you don't let your time away from him slip away from you. Do something worthy of that gorgeous boy asleep in his bed right now.

I don't think I will ever understand why you removed yourself and your family from his life. Even if I were the absolute worst human being on the planet, he's still your son. You were there before he was born, feeling him kick, coming up with names. You put his crib together with me. You carried baby gear into the house. You were there when he was born, you were there when I was up all night sobbing because he wouldn't latch on. You were there singing inappropriate music to him and dancing that shimmy dance to 'Black Betty'. You changed his diapers and fell asleep with him, giving into the exhaustion. You dreamed a whole life for him.

How could you walk away from that?

What would you want me to tell him about you? What would you want me to say about you, when he asks? Because he will. I will answer his questions, and let him make his own mind up about you. Maybe you'll be back in his life by then. Even if just in some minimal way.

You have a beautiful son. One that has your ears. He's happy and healthy. I made sure he always had what he needed. Doctors and therapies and interventions (because you weren't there for the diagnosis, and the rollercoaster involved. I could've used you there. He could have used you there), I made sure he had them all. I fought hard for your boy. I will always fight for him. But I can't ever fill the void you left, no matter how hard I try. And I will never be able to tell him why you're not there, because to be honest, I can speculate, but I have no fucking idea.

So, I hope you're good. I hope you're happy, and achieving, and pursuing your dreams. I hope you're using your time to better yourself and be worthy of the son you don't know. Because he deserves that. I hope you're not hurting or sad. I hope you wonder about him. I even hope you worry. After all, isn't that what fathers are supposed to do?

Meet Reggie

So it's been quite a while since I talked about anything planner related. I've just been overwhelmed and switching around...a LOT. I'm finally comfy in this gorgeous guy. His name is Reggie. 

Isn't he GORGEOUS!!! He's from Filofax. I chose the A5 sized Regency in Black. Now if only it wasn't a compact, I feel like we'd be soulmates.

There are so many pockets and compartments, but they're laid out well. And yes, that's right, TWO elasticized penloops! The front has 3 card slots, and 3 longer slots. In addition, the front has two pockets behind these slots, much like the Kate Spade Wellesley. The back has two pockets like this as well as a note pad spot. I use the bottom pen loop to support the mail I need to attend to in the slot meant to hold a note pad. 

I'm really trying to keep these 'cute' things to a minimum. The things that don't serve much of a purpose and aren't sentimental. The eye candy, if you will. Don't get me wrong, I have s o m e. Just not sections full.

The last really cool thing I wanna mention, is this folder from sequinsandpaper on etsy. I put my business card holders in it and tie it shut. It makes me feel like this information is more protected that way. 

Anyways, I've placed a few orders recently and I'm so excited to unbox them for you. Stay tuned, loves!

What planner do you use? What are you loving about your system?

IEP Meeting Aftermath

AHHHHHhhhhhh!!! I made it through the IEP meeting mayhem. Well mostly anyhow. I still need to sign the final IEP, but we rejected once and got almost everything we asked for. I hear this is kind of a miracle. 

It wasn't without struggle, though. We were first started down the road of Individualized Education Plans in MARCH. The school district came out and did some evaluations. Speech, OT, PT, the SPED teacher, and of course, the BCBA. We had our first IEP meeting where I was so overwhelmed by everyones genuine desire to help my son, that I let a few things slip by me. Right now, Bubs isn't speaking yet, and we're still trying to help him nail down a consistent way of communicating with us. SOOOOO, I when I saw that he was only going to have two sessions with speech and both of those were going to be co-treats, I decided that wasn't enough. There were also several other sections that weren't even filled out yet. They had also asked me to sign a consent for an extended evaluation. I didn't mind that at all, but there was no way I was accepting an IEP without placement included. I exchanged emails several times, and it seemed more time was passing between each reply. I grew more and more frustrated and eventually cc'ed the Director of Special Education. 

Long story short, we ended up having a very productive meeting. They ended up CREATING a sub-separate classroom for him. In addition, they decided to hire a CNA full time. I suppose it would end up being the most cost effective thing for them, but regardless I was IMPRESSED. I won't go into too much more detail about the paperwork but I will say this...

HOW THE HECK DID MY KID GET TO BE SO OLD!?

Now that the IEP madness seems to be more or less over with, I can focus on the fact that the reason he needs an IEP is because he will be three. Ay yi yi... We're going back to school shopping for the first time tomorrow. I'm both happy and sad. Motherhood gives me mixed emotions? Weird right? 

When he was first born, I couldn't imagine his 3rd birthday. I didn't know at the time that he would start full days in school at 3. I assumed it would be 5 or 6. I thought if I could make it to 5 or 6, then things would calm down. I could have a little more time for myself. I would never have guessed that he would start so early. In a few weeks he'll be gone for a good portion of the day. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my time, but also trying to decide what our new routine will be. I'm going to miss him SO much, but I am SO excited for this next chapter in our lives. The school years. 

Hey, out of shape girl.

Hey, you, out of shape girl.

Yes, you. The one staring into the ground when you run to avoid meeting the eye of the other people you pass. The one with earbuds in, avoiding letting yourself fully be a part of the environment around you. I see you wincing with each breath. I see you pumping your arms to propel you forward. I see you persevering. Even underneath the too many layers you used to cover up your body.

The one in the back of the class, dripping with sweat. Tilting your head back running through the list of reasons you came tonight. Running through your WHY. Why you went despite your anxiety. Why you did it anyways. 

The one who works out at home, letting your grunts of pain and effort out. The one taking more breaks than time spent working out. Silently (or not so silently) cursing at the trainers on the screen. Collapsing when the workout ends. I see you. And I have something to say to you. 

You are amazing. Truly.

If you’d just reach out to me, and take that hard step, you would know the reverence and respect I have for you. The journey you've begun is tremendous. I could tell you JUST HOW CLOSE you are to a deeper sense of happiness, health, confidence, hell....freedom. The life you will receive from your consistency will far exceed the monumental struggle you feel now, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others. To LEAD without even really intending to.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of uncomfortability. You have taken the BIGGEST step to propel you forward into a lifestyle you can't even begin to imagine. Each day, the movements become more fluid. You can hold a little longer, lift a little more, push a little harder.  Each time you get up, and show up, you take one baby step (of incredible significance) toward this thrilling place. A place where you hold yourself to a higher standard, but give yourself GRACE. Where you understand your body better, and make better decisions for it. A place where you feel so profoundly happy, that you cannot imagine ever going back. 

You’re an inspiration to me. And, if you’d give me a few moments of your time, you would know that I and so many others, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe of your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. Do you know how many are still saying, "I'll start tomorrow"? Yet here you are, day after day, giving it your all.

You are a bossbabe (or bossman), and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly and consistently taking the steps towards your goals. You are stronger than you think, and you are about to be so very amazed by what you can DO. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll see a photo, or do something you haven't done in a while and it will suddenly just click. You will not believe your own progress, you will realize that you CAN do this! And suddenly you will find that the goals you had set for yourself, were set FAR too low!

I bow to you. I support YOU. And you know what? I WAS you. 

Every ounce of my love,

Erika

50 Pounds GONE

I've been a little quiet lately...okay. I've been a little more than quiet. I'll just skip over the part where I tell you in detail how hard my life has been lately and how much I've had on my plate, because EVERYONE has things going on. Every. Single. Person. AND there are people with way more going on than you who sucked it up and did it anyways. HOWEVER, that being said, everyone's journey happens in their own time.

So about a year and a half ago (has it REALLY been that long?!) I hit rock bottom. I was in a minor fender-bender, and went into the doctors office for a little check up. I hopped up on the scale, the nurse turned to me and said, "Let's weight you again. There's no way that's right." Yup. You read that right. I shocked the nurse with my weight gain. "Two twenty-four"; she kind of whispered it, kind of muttered under her breath. My heart felt like it would shoot out of my chest. I listened, choking back tears, when the doctor came in and gave me the 'you need to loose weight' speech. I no longer cared about the pain in my neck. I cared about the number I'd just heard.

I went to work the next night, and spent HOURS looking up weight loss videos on Youtube. I searched 'quick and easy weight loss' and things like 'loose weight fast'. I finally, FINALLY found one that resonated with me. I commented on her video, sent a message on facebook and didn't expect what would happen.

It CHANGED my LIFE. I lost 50 freakin pounds, and I kept it off. So what if it took me longer than so-and-so? So what if I had a handful (or more than that if I'm being completely transparent)  of setbacks? I STUCK WITH IT, and I succeeded. Don't get me wrong, I'm not near finished, but I need to celebrate this, because this is HUGE for me. I'd also like to make it VERY clear that this transformation was not without work.

I started with this simple, idiot proof plan, right? I just did what I was told. It was hard, but it was worth it. I used these measuring containers that told me how much of the foods I was already eating to eat. It told me which of 8 easy workouts to do each day. I carved out the 30 minutes to do it. I did this for a few months, then switched to a faster paced workout called T25. I capped it off with another called PiYo. I hit a road block around 180 pounds. I'd loose a few then pop back up. I did some serious self evaluating, and realized that if 80% of my results were to come from my nutrition, then why was I STILL eating processed foods and truck loads of carbs? (I also discovered a gluten allergy through this journey. Yay!!) So I did some research, did a cleanse, broke some addictions, and I will NEVER regret it. This cleanse was The Ultimate Reset. A daunting, yet rewarding experience. I learned not only about nutrition, but about myself. 

This post was a quick and excited rant, so I apologize if I was confusing. But PLEASE PLEASE find me on facebook and shoot me a message. I'd love to chat with you about YOUR journey.

x's and o's
Erika

My Ultimate Reset Results!!!!

So, let me just preface this post with this blurb...ya know, to make legal happy and to cover my bootay.

The results you get from this program will vary. These opinions are just my own, and if you don't like the Ultimate Reset as much as I did, then that's a you problem ;) Kidding!...well kind of. ALSO, several grammar rules will be broken. I use a lot of capitals and copious amounts of punctuation. I talk with my hands (hell, my whole body) and being behind a keyboard restricts that, so hence, the shouty capitals and punctuation.

I decided to do the Ultimate Reset after MONTHS of deliberation. Yes, you read that correctly, months. It was a big deal for me to purchase this program. It's something I needed to budget for and save for. I saved for 6 months because it was important to me. I knew that I needed this in my life.

I had spent the last year cleaning up my diet, working out, and drinking my Shakeology. I lost a good hunk of weight. I almost hit the 50 pound mark and then I'd revert back to my eating habits. I would make excuses and place the blame on others for my sabotaging myself. It's true what they say about a bad diet. You can't out-exercise it.

I did the 3 Day Refresh on a monthly basis. I always felt PHENOMENAL when I did it and even better on the last day. That structure and meal plan worked well for me. Having my meals laid out and planned like that left zero room for guesswork or 'just this once's

I did a fair amount of research about the Ultimate Reset, because of the price tag. But like I said, I saved and I made it happen. And I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad that I did!!! I cannot put into typed words just HOW much I would make the same decision over and over again.

The first few days were far from great. I felt weak, hungry, and I had a headache from Hades. Thank you, caffeine addiction. I didn't cave and go for the Advil.  (OH, and I got my period on day two. Talk about detox) I used a small ice pack at the nape of my neck and chugged my water. I was drinking 2 to 3 gallons of water a day. Yes, I peed a LOT. The first week I phased out animal products and into weeks 2 and 3 I ate a plant based diet. I actually ENJOYED IT. I didn't realize how heavy I was used to feeling. I felt calm, level headed, and just overall G O O D. I didn't even KNOW just how bad of a place I was in. My dependency on food and the reasons I turned to it were thrown in my face. Talk about ah-hah moment after ah-hah moment!

As for my timing, I decided to start on May 1st, making my last day May 21st. I did this program over mother's day, a christening, and my birthday. If I can do THAT, you can too.

I recorded several videos over my 3 weeks doing this program, but I can't find most of the footage! I'm re-recording them and will upload them along with more in depth posts. Here are my results-physically anyhow. HOLY EFFING COW. Stay tuned for those other posts, guys. You're gonna wanna hear about this.

I'm making this an annual thing. Maybe starting the day after my birthday this time, though.

Here's from the front

And the side

And here's for the hater's. You can't suck in back fat ;)

XOXO

Erika

50 Questions About Me-- Get To Know Me

I found these questions on a blog I frequent and thought it would be fun to answer them for y'all!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5am, well kind of. I was up at 1:22 because I was working (hospice) and my client had a rough night. Ergo, I had a rough night. 

2. How do you like your steak? Medium Well

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Tammy. Wow, it's definitely been a while.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Gilmore Girls is my all time favorite. Friends is a close second. I'll put either of those on when I need a little me time. Chopped is interesting now and again. I love that one HGTV show that I CANNOT think of the name of. It's a husband and a wife that flip houses for buyers? UGH! It will come to me, I'm sure. But just because we are being real and honest here… Keeping up with the Kardashians is my guilty pleasure.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Southern California. Yes. No Question.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Vegan Chocolate Shakeology and an apple. YUMO!

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Thai or Japanese

8. What foods do you dislike? Tofurkey, anything with a lot of butter or grease...shudder.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Boston's Baddest Burgers, The Counter, Halfway Cafe, Nisa's Thai...sensing a theme here?

10. Favorite dressing? Ranch or Caesar, NO....wait. Pomegranate Vinaigrette!

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Kia Sportage

12. What are your favorite clothes? Im pretty casual as a Mom.  Nothing beats a Graphic T-shirt and leggings.  SO easy to style and accessorize… and look cute everyday. You can dress it up, or down. Thats my kind of outfit. Quick and easy!

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? England, Thailand, Ireland or Scotland, Paris France, New York City, New Orleans, and the Disneys. ALL DAY, every day.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? I would say both… depends on my mood.  But usually 1/2 full…I'm trying to be one of THOSE people ;)

15. Where would you want to retire? Southern California.

16. Favorite time of day? It used to be night time. I was a TOTAL night owl. I get that from my grandmother. She and I would stay up late watching CSI, or other crime shows. She'd make tea and little sandwiches. Those memories I cherish. But in the past year, I've tried really hard to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier now that I have a 2.5 year old.

17. Where were you born? California, baby!

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Dance. Competitive dance.

19. How many siblings? 1 sister, 3 years younger than me.

20. Favorite pastime/hobby? I'm a total art freak. And crafts. Scrapbooking, drawing, illustrating, heck, I'll color in a kid's coloring book. I've recently gotten into ring bound planners. I remember my dad having one, and I'm super excited about it.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? EVERYONE! I'm a deep talk craver. I l love getting to know people.

22. Bird watcher? Nope. People watcher.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Definitely Night.  I could stay up really really late if i didn't have my kiddo. Its hard to get me into bed before 11:00pm… but I'm getting better about making myself.

24. Do you have any pets? Yes, a beagle boston terrier, Zoe. And Moxie will forever be mine.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I chopped my hair recently!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Artist, Performer, Apparel Designer, Singer, I also wanted to own a hotel made of cheese with my bestie, Kim. It's still on the goal board, people.

27. What is your best childhood memory? Probably Disneyland with my dad.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat.  I wish I could have like 5 cats… but I can't have cats in this condo.

29. Are you married? Nope.

30. Always wear your seat belt? ALWAYS. It's one of the only habits that my parents gave me that I'm grateful for.

31. Been in a car accident? Yes… I've been rear ended twice, and once I caused it. It was stupid really. I was in the drive thru line at Starbucks, and I bent down to get something I dropped on the passenger side floor, and when I went to grab it, my foot lifted off the break and I tapped the lady in front of me. LITERALLY 1mph. STUPID.

32. Any pet peeves? When people smack and chew with their mouth open. Or if I can see your tounge moving like a cat's? I sound terrible but it's the truth! What else? Uhm...When people are sick and sneeze or cough all willy nilly. COVER your mouth thank ya!

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Pineapple… or Sausage Onion.

34. Favorite Flower? Peonies, Hydrangeas, Lavendar.

35. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Mint

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chipotle.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never. Whoop whoop!

38. From whom did you get your last email? PayPal notifying me that I've created a shipping label. Paypal is very email-happy.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Chopped my hair. My life isn't too exciting right now!

41. Like your job? I have a job that's rewarding. Two actually. I'm working with elderly clients (like 94 and still kicking!) And I am also a health and lifestyle coach. A motivator, if you will. OH and let's not forget my mama duties!

42. Broccoli? Yes!! It may stick in your teeth, but fries stick on your ass.

43. What was your favorite vacation? Disneyland. Hands down.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Dad, Greg, and Liam. We had halfway cafe.

45. What are you listening to right now? My clacking keys, my snoring toddler, and the MOST annoying fridge humming ever!

46. What is your favorite color? Honestly, this changes every time I'm asked so I usually say nudes to be safe.

47. How many tattoos do you have? Two.

49. What time did you finish this quiz?  1:47 PM

50. Coffee Drinker? Coffee Addict is more like it. Give me an IV when that's approved by the board of health.

Hope you all got to know me a little better :)  Tell me something I don't know about YOU!

xoxo

Erika

So...I still use a paper planner?

In a time where everyone has their smartphones glued to their hands, why on earth would I go backwards and use a paper planner!?

Because I'm a visual person. That's the simple answer.

When I was in middle school, my dad RELIGIOUSLY used a Franklin Covey zip planner. He had those green daily pages, and even inventoried them by year when he was done. I wanted one SOOOO badly. I've always been a stationary and pen addict. In fact I was almost sent to the principals office in 6th grade over some scented erasers. True story.

Anyways, he ended up getting me a magnetic snap one, and I took that thing everywhere. I've upgraded since then, and started with Filofax and moved into Kate Spade. I did a few planner set up video, but just to warn you, they're supppeerrr awkward. I'm getting better, I promise

Since these videos I've purchased, the Day Designer, Erin Condren, Target planners (like Sugar Paper LA and the Day Designer's Line) even Midori, and always end right back up in a ring bound planner. I just LOVE being able to customize it soooo much.

It's also kind of a creative outlet for me. I used to scrapbook, and I still paint and draw. BUT I will say, all the decorating does overwhelm me. 

Little Man Update

Hi loves!!! Long time, no write, huh? I know. I'm trying to get better at it, because I do love writing, but by the time little man is down for the night, all I want to do is veg out in front of some Netflix. Yep. Shocker, huh? 

SO! Little man! He and I have made 4 trips to the brace shop to get his AFO's fitted correctly. The last visit we had, we saw a different orthotist. HE was amazing. He fixed every little thing and they are practically perfect now. We also managed to find shoes that would accommodate the width of them. New Balance, Saucony, and Stride Rite were no-go's. Who would've thought we'd end up back with Nike again. Hurray!!

He just had his 2 and a half birthday, where I improvised cupcakes out of funfetti pancake batter that Greg had in the cupboards. Needless to say, it wasn't the same. Little man got a kick out of the candles though. My heart leapt out of my chest when he lunged for them. I cannot believe how OLD and BIG he's getting. Part of me is sad. Sad that phases of his life are passing, sad that I'm having more and more trouble remembering his baby days. BUT, I am also extremely excited for the future. I love watching his little soul develop. He's more observant and always learning. He's becoming so much more expressive and he's just hit (and honestly gone a little ways past) that size where I can hold his hand properly, and his arms can reach around my neck to give me squeezes. I die.

He's in an awkward in between when it comes to clothing sizes. 2T is usually too snug, or too short. 3T is a little bit baggy. Certain brands work better than others and I have to totally reorganize our closet (He and I share one, as the master houses the washer and dryer) because his clothes are getting so much bigger, and I'm in the process of simplifying and trying to work towards a minimalist wardrobe (yeah, that's a story in and of itself).

I feel like I've missed so much, but all in all Liam is doing FANTASTICALLY. The only issue is this crazy stupid amount of snowfall we've had in Boston. We can't really do much besides walk around the mall. And we are going slowly stir crazy. 

Anyhow, I'm coming up with a blog schedule because I do want to devote more time to this. Hopefully my next post's thoughts will be more organized!

xoxo 

Erika

Where I'm Starting In 2015 - Progress Photos

Around this time last year, I was working nights, and taking care of my son during the day. He is two now, and has Autism Spectrum Disorder. Being a single mom, taking care of him, and the stress that comes with a new diagnosis like that, my health was the LAST thing on my mind. 

I knew the foods I was eating weren’t healthy, but getting meals at the drive thru, or in the prepared foods section on my way to and from work, was the easiest thing for me to do. I was tired, sluggish, and uncomfortable in my still-gaining body. I weighed more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant. When the nurse had to double check my weight with me at a physical, I knew it was time to do something. If I was surprising medical professionals with my weight gain, something was wrong. 

My coworker was doing weight watchers so I signed on. I quickly realized that I was continuing these bad habits, just in smaller portions. I was searching fast and easy weight loss on Youtube when I happened upon someone’s weight loss transformation video. I sent her a message, and changed my life. 

I know it sounds corny, but it’s true. She got me signed up with a challenge pack which gave me the best deal on a workout program and Shakeology. I didn’t do any research, I just jumped. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I was introduced to an amazing group of women who were all going through the same things that I was. I had this incredible accountability and judgment-free place to go when I was struggling, or dealing with a situation where I’d normally resort back to my unhealthy ways. I signed up as a coach within a few weeks. I started to read personal development books and saw a change more incredible than the physical ones. I HAD to share this with everyone. 

I have lost about 45 pounds since I started my journey. But in place, I’ve gained lifelong friends, self love, confidence, energy, happiness, joy, you NAME it. I am a part of one of the most supportive communities of women (and men). I continue to coach, because there are SO many people out there who don’t know what they’re missing. It’s more than the workouts and the Shakeology. It’s more than the weight loss. It’s about TRANSFORMATIONS. I am the BEST version of myself. I am healthier than I have ever been. Both physically and emotionally. I have come alive through this journey. I am a better mom, a better friend, a better daughter, a better girlfriend, a better coach when I work on myself first. I wouldn’t give this feeling up for anything. I'll always have stretch marks. Some from my son, and some from my unhealthy lifestyle. I have sagging and loose skin. But I LOVE IT. It's just proof of how far I've come.

And though this has been a journey full of ups and downs, both emotional and in pounds, it has TRUELY made me grow. People who have known me since before I've started say they see a difference. Not only in my size, but the joy I radiate.

So, are you ready to chat yet? Send me a friend request. Let's chat!  https://www.facebook.com/erikakkamezaki

erika.kamezaki@gmail.com