Sometimes It All Gets To Be A Bit Too Much

I am struggling.

Struggling to fall asleep, struggling to turn my thoughts off, struggling to stay positive, struggling to move my face without my tear-streaked cheeks tugging, struggling to look away from the baby monitor, struggling to stay strong, struggling not to fall apart.

Struggling to keep my voice down when I celebrate first bites of new foods, struggling to let go of his bumbling toddler hugs, struggling to look away from the plethora of smiling photos of him on the wall behind this monitor, struggling to keep from sleeping on his bedroom floor,

struggling to stay pessimistic. 

I just watched a video a friend had posted to her Facebook page. It was a video of a woman named Carly. She had an indescribable breakthrough. She types. She went over to the laptop and typed out HURT, then HELP before throwing up behind the couch. That's how she started to communicate with those around her. She shocked people. The fluidity with which she wrote was astonishing. She described how she feels and how much she understands. And I realize, for the umpteenth time, that there are things I might never understand.

I know that isn't the brightest of views, nor is it the tone of a mother who fancies herself Wonder Woman. But it's what I am struggling with. I don't know how much Bub's understands. I don't know if he understands when I say, "I love you." I don't know if he is in pain or discomfort. I don't know if he enjoys the food I offer, or if he's just hungry. I just don't freaking know. I don't know if he feels trapped, the way Carly feels. I don't know if he is understanding the PECs system I'm desperately pushing. I don't know a whole lot of things.

But what I do know is this. No matter how hard it gets, or how deep into self pity I sink, his smile pulls me out. It doesn't always happen right away, but it does. I also know that this is a long haul struggle. I don't know that I will ever be able to describe accurately enough. I will do EVERYTHING in my power to push for what he needs. I won't ever give up.

There is ALWAYS more to the story than what you see. I want so desperately to be in his body for a day. I would give pretty much anything for that. I am struggling to be his rock and deal with the emotional roller coaster that I've hopped on.

I would LOVE to meet Carly, and have her spend just a few hours with us. Bub's inner voice will find it's way out, as it does daily. I just have to be patient and PAY ATTENTION. I hate to let anyone see me struggle, because I DO want to be supermom for him. But, at the same time, I hate that no one knows what I'm going through. One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is letting go. Whether it's anger, confusion, love, or grief. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. I've said it before, but the nine months I was pregnant with Bubs, this is not exactly what I imagined. I still struggle with letting that go.

I keep telling myself that challenges are not sent to destroy me. They're sent to promote, increase and strengthen me. This struggle is part of my story. Part. Not all of it, and most definitely not forever. So for tonight, I'll embrace it and let it make me stronger.

I REFUSE to get so focused on the struggles that I forget about the gift of today.

And do me a favor? Remember that EVERYONE you meet is fighting a battle you know NOTHING about.

Overcoming The Overwhelm

The past few weeks have been very trying. I've been stressed, scared, happy and hopeful. Just when I feel I have my footing, whoosh. It's gone.

Sometimes you have an ACTUAL person to battle against - a specialist, a teacher, an administrator, an insensitive family member, a total stranger, an ass of an employer, or your own stubborn child.

SOMETIMES your opponent is less concrete - a disease, a disability, a mile stone that keeps moving away, or skill your child JUST can't seem to master. And sometimes you end up fighting against YOURSELF - subduing your fears, conquering your doubts, attacking your insecurities. REGARDLESS of the foe, you're in it to WIN it. Surrender is NOT an option. You may negotiate and agree to a treaty, or observe a ceasefire, or you may scorch of the earth and take no prisoners. BUT you'll fight the good fight as long as there's ANY fight left in you - and then you'll FIGHT some MORE.

Bubs is scheduled for a Bronchoscopy on the third and countless other appointments. I've given a months notice to his daycare, and will follow shortly with my weekday employer. I'll be working weekends and nights so I can stay home with him during the day. It's the only way to give him the support he needs. And you know what? That's a-okay with me. Screw other people taking care of him when I could do it. So what if it's going to be hard? I didn't get into this motherhood business thinking it would be easy. Granted, not THIS hard, but whatever. I am BLESSED to have this life. I am STRONG enough for it. 

He didn't nap today. It's 7:45pm, and he is STILL awake. I had plans to get the house organized, to get caught up with laundry(to finally finish that ONE load that I have had to rewash for forgetting it was in there) to get caught up with my writing...welp. 

Wrong, Erika. Wrong. But that can wait. Because right now, I'm rocking my baby, and that is a thing to be THANKFUL for. 

One day, I'll look back on the therapies, appointments, sleepless nights, napless days, tears, triumphs, ignorance, heartaches, and struggles. And I'll smile.

Hugs 

Erika

So...What the HECK is this Coaching thing?

Most of you know that my son, Liam, turned two recently. Looking back, it kinda blows my mind at how much has changed in the last 2 years. Motherhood joys and challenges included, I am happier, healthier and SO excited for the future. Thinking about how much more will change in the next year makes me both nervous and exited. 

In the next year I plan to:

-Travel with my family to the West Coast twice, Nashville in July, and another trip in the fall

-Pay off all debt

-Put at least $5000 in Savings for Bubs

-Enroll Buba in a pre school that is going to help him succeed

-Work only on weekdays, then quit my job. No more working for someone else

-Quadruple my current monthly income by the end of 2015

None of this would be possible without the amazing business I am creating, and the amazing people I work with everyday, and have grown into lifelong friends. In November of 2013 I hit the heaviest weight that I have recorded. 214 pounds. Sharing this journey has NOT been easy, BUT it has been so rewarding, and more than that, I have grown so much as a person. 

I'm not any different than you. I'm a busy mom, I have a TIGHT monthly budget, maybe some debt, and the desire for MORE. 

More time

More money

More freedom

More.

I have have started creating a business that allows me just that. I work at it when I want, and when I have the time. I can work on this as I work a corporate job, making ends meet as a single mom. I LOVE that ANYONE with the heart and drive can be successful. My earning potential is limitless, and I can rest easy knowing that my company offers THE BEST products on the market, that change lives. No gimmicks, quick fixes, no scams, just QUALITY, life changing solutions. The proof is endless. I no longer fall asleep worried (well most of the time) that things won't get better. I fall asleep visualizing my DREAMS. I no longer wake, dreading the day to day things that cost money and pull me away from my son. I wake restless. Restless to tackle my day. Restless to work on myself. Restless to GET. IT. DONE.

If you have ever thought that you deserved more for your life, wanted more for your kids, wanted to be a part of an amazing community of people, wanted some security, wanted to FINALLLY get rid of your debt, maybe make a little money to use for vacation, look no further. Aren't your dreams worth 5 days? I can SHOW you how VALUABLE and INCREDIBLE this opportunity is. I can answer the questions you might have held back on asking. 

Join me for a FREE, no obligation, 5 day online sneak peek into what I do everyday, how I make money, and how I have grown my business through social media. We are starting MONDAY  

Link to join the private group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/745397708865190/

Hugs

Erika

Mommy Meltdowns & Shitty Work Schedules

WELL....This post is not for the 'always-look-on-the-bright-siders' nor is it for the 'you-do-know-that-there-are-people-who-have-it-worse-than-youers'

That being said, let me give you my work schedule for the past few days.

Tuesday: 830am-10am, 11am-330pm, 630pm-11pm
Wednesday: 830am-1040am, 11am-330pm, 7pm-11pm
Thursday: 930am-1050am, 11am-330pm, 7pm-9m, 1030pm-6am. yes. AM!
Friday: 530pm-9pm
Saturday: 8am-3pm

Total Hours Worked: 47.25

I feel like I'm ALWAYS working. I have a few hours gap here and there, but I'm out from 8 am sometimes not getting home til the next morning. AND I'm missing my kid. I know I'm gonna miss out on something huge. And it kills me. I am tired, I am stressed, and I'm feeling a LITTLE used. BUT, for now, my hands are tied. I need diapers, and formula, aaaaaaand coffee...
I erupt into hot tears of anger when I pause long enough to think about how much time I'm not spending with my son. I feel anxious knowing that I have to leave him in a hurry. This is NOT what I wanted. I did NOT sign up for this...

YES. I know other people work more.
NO. I am not salaried.
NO. I didn't always have my schedule 12 hours in advance.
NO. I am NOT okay with this...but right now, I don't have much of a choice.

SO today, when I went to change Bub's poopy diaper, and he smushed his hand in it, and almost put it in his face, and smeared it all over the blanket he was laying on, and tried to crawl away, and a myriad of other things, I lost it.

"DON'T YOU DARE! THERE'S POOP INVOLVED!" Classy right? NOT. Those are not the words of a kind and sweet and gentle mother. They are the words of a sleep deprived, upset, and resentful mother(not resentful towards him, DUH, but towards work, the stupid, fucking, necessary evil.)

I did NOT have that shit contained. We ended up in the bathtub, where he screamed bloody murder as I hosed him off. Did I mention he was up at 6, and didn't go down for a nap til 2? (norm is up at 7 and nap at noon) I didn't? Oh, well, imagine being an almost 2 year old, sleepy as heck, and covered in your own shit, WHILE your tired, pissy, mother sprays you with the detachable shower head. Not a great reenactment of the Johnson's&Johnson's night time routine seen in their commercials (Anyone else called bullshit on those?)

Finally cleaned, and a charade to get a clean diaper back on him. I threw the shitty sheets in the wash, and laid him down next to me on the couch. I looked over and he was PASSED OUT.

I put him in his crib, shake of the mommy guilt as best I can, and am about to veg out on some netflix, youtube, and some serious de-stressing, when guess who calls?

It's work. Telling me that I need to work the holiday.

Being a Special Needs Mom

*******This post is probably THE MOST personal and vulnerable I will EVER get. Please respect that. Any hateful or rude comments will be deleted, and you will be blocked for GOOD. 

Any mom can tell you that having a child introduces you to a level of love that was unfathomable up until that point. You imagine having a child with special needs and having a child that is typical of development are much the same. It is happy, exciting, scary, thrilling, and so much more.

But having a child with special needs also feels guilty, sad, and almost a tad cheated. Because you have a baby that is just as cute and as tall or as chunky as your friends baby, or your coworkers baby, or that baby in the Johnson's and Johnson's commercial. You have the same boob transformation as any other breastfeeding mama, and the same emotional ups and downs postpartum. You also realize that at some point, those so looked-forward to emails about baby's progress, and the "What To Expect" milestone breakdowns don't quite match up with your baby's.

You spend the next chunk of time pretending. Hovering between denial and anger. Not all mama's have experience working in the developmental disabilities field, but you did. You never expect that it will be YOUR baby. You never think that it's going to affect YOUR life that way. You ALMOST convince yourself that you're only seeing the signs because of your work history. And that may last longer than it should, but you know. You know deep down that something isn't quite right. 

You'll have friends, or kiddos in baby groups that are just weeks or months apart in chronological age. And when they're really little, it won't be as big of a difference. They will take a little longer to sit unsupported, and a case can be made that they're just a picky eater. But their kids will get older, as will yours, and the differences will become more pronounced. You start to resent those emails you subscribed to in excitement and eagerness while you were pregnant, that now seem taunting in their subject lines of, "Baby is x months old and is doing..." You may even pop the backspace button off the keyboard once or twice with the force put behind your deliberate move.

Eventually, your anger is redirected to the pedi, who dismissed your concerns as 'kids develop in their own time". The next well-check comes, and you insist that there is SOMETHING wrong. So you get the recommendation to see every specialist and therapist you can imagine. You finally get the confirmation that you were right all along. The only thing that keeps you from dropping to your knees and succumbing to a full-body sob, is knowing that your son is watching you. And while the moment is bittersweet, you can't help but begin to mourn for the child you planned for during those nine months, and every day after they were born.

You'll morn for the dreams of hearing them say, "I love you", even though they will tell you in their own way. You'll cry at the unfairness of the situation. You'll experience more emotions than you have in your entire life put together. But, you'll pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and do what you have to do. Albeit not always gracefully. You will be happy for your friend's kids, and smile at their hilarious talking. But in the back of your mind, you still mourn for this person your baby almost was. You will feel guilty for feeling upset. You will feel inadequate, and wonder if they would've been better off with older, more established parents. But that all melts away when they smile at you. Or hold your hand. Or do something that may seem ordinary to anyone else, but you know exactly what they're trying to tell you. Soon, you'll stop mourning, for the most part, but you'll see your almost little boy every now and then.

If you haven't already, you'll make a point to tell your friends and family about what's going on. Fear of judgement, not understanding, and even pity, linger as you talk. They will try to be helpful and tell you they understand, but they don't REALLY get it. BUT, then you stumble across a story of a mother who had to give birth to a baby that was sick, or worse, incompatible with life, and you feel blessed. You ARE blessed. Every parent is.

But on the flip side, you'll see on Facebook more than one proud mom posting their child's latest milestone, or a story about them talking back ("You don't tell mama 'no'"  "Oh, I TELL mama No!"), OR even their kid patting them on the stomach and calling them 'squishy'.   You feel jealous that they are talking and walking and eating, and can realize what parts of their parents are squishy. BUT  you will soon realize that having a toddler who thinks you're perfect, is kind of perfect.

And that even though you may not have heard them say the words "I love you" when you say the same thing, that when they smirk and pull away (or dive into your arms) that he's saying "I know, mama. I love you too". You start counting the ways he shows you what he's thinking, instead of all the foods he wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. He looks at you one night and the baby babble of "mamamama aahahhh ba" sounds like 'mama' clear as day for the first time, and you think to yourself, 

"Maybe.....maybe. It's going to be JUST fine."

xo

Erika

Breakfast Omlette Cupcakes

Hey loves, I wanted a quick and easy breakfast that still had some substance to it...and I ended up with breakfast cupcakes! They are versitile, quick, and super yummy!!

I started off cooking some bacon in the microwave. I only cooked it half way. Dab out the grease!

 Then while that was cooking, I sliced up some bell pepper(I used a half, because I didn't check to see if I had all I needed and only had 5 eggs SOOO only 5 cupcakes this time..)

 Once the bacon was done and dabbed, I cut each strip in half and cris-crossed them in a muffin tin.

Then, I cracked an egg in each cup, whisking it lightly with a fork to 'scramble' them. Then the diced bell peppers went in. You can add whatever you want. I just didn't have much on hand. I recommend mushrooms, and avocado. Whatever you'd put in an omlette:)

As you can see, I didn't check how many eggs I had. I just took the bacon from the 6th cup, put one piece in each open cup to have on it's own

I baked them at 325°F for 3 minutes, but they needed more time so I put them in for another two on 'broil' so I was getting more concentrated heat from above

Ta Da!!

Pull on the bacon to pop 'em out. If they don't pop out easily,  run a butter knife around the cup and they should pop out :) I'm making a ton after I pick up some reinforcements from the market so I can freeze them and just nuke them in the mornings:) 

Hope you enjoy!

Xo

Erika

Do You Measure Up?

Do you remember when your parents measured your height on a growth chart, or a door frame? My dad did. Mine was on the post of our bunk beds.

He had me stand against the wall, feet flat, and tall as I could. He'd hold a ruler up to make sure it was my true height. That little sharpie mark was SO cool. I was a centimeter, inch, a tiny little bit, taller and I was PROUD. Between the measurements, I'd run up, hold my hand at the top of my head, and try to see if I'd grown. My dad didn't measure me against my sister, even though we had our marks side by side. He didn't measure me against himself, or my best friend. I was only measured against MYSELF. When did I lose this mentality?

When you measure your growth, be it personal, emotional, business wise, or anything else, ONLY measure yourself against your past self. If you compare yourself to someone else, how is that being fair to you? How is that helpful? Don't compare your relationships, successes, businesses, families, friends, body, mind or ANYTHING else against others. YOU are your ONLY competition. When you start comparing yourself, that's when the joy dies. Whatever you focus on in your life E X P A N D S. If you're constantly talking negatively to yourself (out loud or in your head) that will only bring you down. If you focus on the positive, you'll see it everywhere (like the people who buy a new car, and suddenly see it all over the place)

Start a gratitude journal. It can be on napkins, envelopes, a one subject notebook, or a fancy leather bound one. I don't care where, just write. Every morning or night, sit for five minutes in quiet with no distractions and reflect on the past 24 hours. Write down 3 or more things you're grateful for. Do it for a week and I promise you'll see some positive mojo happen. Do it for a year? Can you imagine? 

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for the amount of dignity and respect you expect from others. 

Imagine the effect positive thinking can have. So, when you look back in a year, will you measure up?

My guess is that you will. Strive for progress instead of perfection, and I think you'll turn out just fine.

xo

Erika

Recommitting to myself

Because I will NEVER be where I was in this photo again!

I have been a LITTLE more stressed than usual this past month. And though I am incredibly open with my health and fitness journey, there ARE aspects of my life I am not yet ready to talk about in such detail with you all. And when those aspects become more difficult, it affects the rest of my life, including my fitness.

When I don't see the progress that I want to in my body and my health, I go through this cycle of self talk. "NO! no no no no no no. Crap. What is going on? What did I slip up on. Where was I inconsistent? I don't, CAN'T, go back to where I was before. I promised myself. I made a commitment to be better. Healthier. Happier. More confident. I KNEW I couldn't do this.. This was a dumb idea. All I'm ever going to be is fat and unhealthy. Why bother.....

BECAUSE I am worth something. I AM healthier. I AM happier. I AM more confident. I forget often that SLOW progress is still progress. I am working on stopping the negative self talk. Changing your life is NOT a cut and dry process. There are ups and downs, struggles and triumphs. I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

With tomorrow being the first, I have listed out my goals, as well as the steps I need to take to make the goals a reality. I am kicking things up a notch and am throwing out my excuses. I am RECOMMITTING to putting myself first. I am recommitting to this incredible and infuriating process.

xo

Erika

The 3 Day Refresh | Review and Results

SOOOOOO.. The long awaited results and I spaced on hitting publish. Better late than never right? Here we go...

Going into the 3 Day Refresh, to say I was nervous was a bit of an understatement. But I absolutely LOVED it.

Who is the 3 Day Refresh for exactly? I think that anyone who has hit a plateau, wants to dive head first into clean eating, wants to drop some vacation bloat, has some sort of event coming up, or just needs a quick detox and reset  would benefit MOST from this program.

What do you eat on the 3 Day Refresh? You eat REAL food. You get to chew!! I know that sounds odd, but I know that I COULD NOT go three days just drinking. In addition to the yummy food (that also happens to be vegan friendly should you choose) you get to drink yummy shakes. Here's a photo of what I got to eat. It is A LOT of food! If you want more in depth about my day to day experience, go read my daily recap posts :)

When should you start your 3 Day Refresh?

I chose to start mine on Sunday. This way I knew while I was getting the hang of it, I didn't HAVE to go anywhere. When I do this again, I will most likely start this on Friday morning, so over the weekend, I don't eat crap out of boredom, or just because the people around me are. Whenever you want to start, you should start. Just take your routine into consideration. Do you and family plan to go out? Are you able to bring the food with you and eat it when you're scheduled to? It is different for EVERYONE. Do what works for YOU. 

Where can you get this AMAZING beauty? 

Just go here: 

http://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/-/shopping/BCP3D160?referringRepId=366613

Or you can add me on facebook.com/erikakamezaki or email me at erika.kamezaki@gmail.com if you have questions or want more info :)

Why should you choose do the 3 Day Refresh instead of those other 'cleanses'?

The 3 Day Refresh is fantastic because you get to eat ALL DAY LONG. You're not eating huge heavy meals, but trust me. You won't need them. One of the biggest lessons I learned from doing this, is that my MINDSET is my biggest obstacle. It's now a little over a week after I completed my 3 Day Refresh, and I am STILL feeling great. I am eating more veggies because over the 3 days I taught my body that I can be full with proper portions and I can have veggie based meals and be satisfied. Am I eating this healthy all the time? NO. I had pizza the night after I was finished. It's all about BALANCE.

What results have I had with the 3 Day Refresh?

I lost 4.5 pounds in 3 Days with the Refresh. OVER 4 pounds in 3 DAYS!! all while eating real food, feeling full, feeling satisfied and learing A LOT about myself. I'd say this is a winner. This is a holy grail program for me. Now, I did get my period between day one and two. This may have screwed up my results some, because I normally bloat when I first get my period. BUT. I had some pretty fantastic results. And the BEST part? Without significant effort, I was able to carry on with a lot of these healthy habits, and was able to CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT! In a week, I lost 6.3 pounds. INSANE!

Total weight loss and inches lost: I lost 4 and a half pounds in 3 days!! 3 days afterwards, I was down a total of 6.3 pounds! Thank you healthy habits ;)

How does your clothing fit? I had to get rid of a pair of leggings because they are too big! NON-SCALE VICTORY BABY!

Sleep: When I eat healthy balanced meals I sleep GREAT. I am more rested, I don't wake up as often, and the boyfriend reports less tossing and turning. 

Peak moment of the experience: SO MANY ah-hah moments! I learned so much about what emotional triggers I had that drove me to food, about how to fuel my body better, how FREAKIN' important it is to figure out if you're actually hungry or just bored/emotional

Pit moment of the experience: Reflecting on my past. Realizing all the times where I could've made a healthier decision, where I had a 'pivotal decision' to make, and I made the unwise one. BUT I learned. That's what matters, right?

Cravings: I have seen a HUGE decrease in my cravings for specific foods. It's so WEIRD feeling myself start to relate to food differently. I am starting to more easily see it as nourishment and not a treat or reward

Emotional state: Happy, proud, optimistic, and hopeful for the future.

Most looking forward to: Taking the skills and lessons that I've learned and applying them daily. It is a decision EVERY time for me. And it's slowly getting easier. 

xo

Erika

The 3 Day Refresh | Day 3 Recap

Today was the last day of my 3 Day Refresh. I woke up, had some water, and an hour later had some Chocolate Shakeology with strawberries again. There's something about having chocolate with strawberry that just makes it taste like a treat. I don't think I could ever get tired of this one.

I decided to have the optional morning tea this morning, and sweetened it with skinny girl's liquid stevia(Yes, it's a real brand) 

Lunch was a Vanilla Fresh with nutmeg and cinnamon, along with celery, hummus, and half of an orange. I COULD have and SHOULD have gotten a bigger variety of fruits and veggies. I ran out of certain ones not living alone. However, I still really enjoyed this. And yep. Totally spaced on taking a picture of the Vanilla Fresh I was drinking while taking THIS photo:

I decided to forgo my afternoon tea, so the next time I ate was at dinner. I mixed the Coconut Steamed Veggie recipe with the stir fry one. I took the spices from the stir fry and used them with cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots. Delish. I DID NOT want my last Vanilla Fresh. I wasn't hungry, and honestly I finally hit the point of wanting some variety in my diet. I'm looking forward to getting some meats and dairy back in my diet, but nervous as well. 

Total weight loss and inches lost: 3.5 pounds down. Final weigh in will be in my next blog post 'what happens after the 3 day refresh?'

How does your clothing fit? My shirts feel looser over my stomach, and my legs feel slimmer

Sleep: Slept like a freakin' log. I didn't wake up ONCE. That is a miracle for me. Add this to the list of ah hah moments to be delved into with my next post.

Peak moment of today: 3.5 pounds down is pretty great, but beyond that, the change I have in my mentality is PHENOMENAL. It's just crazy how much I've learned.

Pit moment of today: I've worried about what will happen after these three days are over. Some SERIOUS personal development to come guys!

Cravings: Pizza. Mostly just pizza.

Symptoms: I felt fine today. I felt pretty good until dinner. I wasn't hungry, but managed to eat. I KNOW I'm eating at a severe deficit and NOT eating would do my body more harm.

Emotional state: Optimistic, exicted, and had some pretty serious ah hah moments. I have learned so much, and feel refreshed(<- too far? ;) )

Most looking forward to: Seeing the final tally tomorrow morning, and talking about everything that I've learned. This experience has been rewarding, but I think the best has yet to come of it. I'll be doing my final video and blog post tomorrow about what happens AFTER the 3 Day Refresh. Check 'em out!

xo

Erika

Do you want to know more about the 3 Day Refresh? Find me on facebook. www.facebook.com/erikakamezaki, or send me an email at erika.kamezaki@gmail.com and let's chat

Don't want to wait? Buy the 3 Day Refresh here:

http://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/-/shopping/BCP3D160?referringRepId=366613

The 3 Day Refresh | Day 2 Recap

Full disclosure, this is one of those TMI type posts. I woke in the middle of the night with my period. Normally, I need to take Midol through the first few days. Today was NOT fun without it. Getting my period COMPLETELY throws my body off track so I'm nervous to see what results I'll get.  Anyhow, let's get into it.

I woke up, chugged some water and weighed myself. Down 2.4 pounds! This was EXCITING. 

For breakfast I had some Chocolate Shakeology and 12 medium strawberries. This was VERY filling.

Dropped the kiddo off at daycare then off to South Shore Plaza. Walking through the food court was HORRIBLE. I wanted EVERYTHING. I couldn't resist Teavana though. The woman behind the counter made me a blend of teas, unsweetened. I, of course, spaced on taking a photo of the actual tea, but managed this blurry beauty.

Home and time for lunch. Carrots, hummus, half a banana, and some Vanilla Fresh. I blended half of my banana serving into my Vanilla Fresh in hopes that it would be thicker. No such luck. I guess I should've thrown the whole thing in. WAIT. IDEA!!!! I can put my healthy fat of avocado in my Vanilla Fresh. It thickens Shakeology, why not Vanilla Fresh? 

Afternoon snack was celery and hummus. This was perfect. Not to heavy, but satisfying. As today went on, I noticed myself less hungry than yesterday. The food cravings are purely out of habit I think. Food addiction is no joke folks. I sat down with some water, because I was DEFINITELY not drinking enough.

Dinner was the same as yesterday. I planned on trying a new recipe, but the Coconut steamed veggies were SO good last night. It will definitely become something I make frequently after these three days are over. The veggie broth filled me up so much so that I did NOT want my second Vanilla Fresh of the day. BUT, I promised myself I'd stay on plan, so I drank that too. 

Total weight loss and inches lost: 2.5 pounds gone!

How does your clothing fit? My pants feel looser around my thighs, and my shirts feel looser around my tummy...I haven't measured yet but hopefully this means a loss in inches

Sleep: Woke up to discover I'd started my period. After that I was woken a couple times by my kiddo. But I felt VERY rested. I went to bed at 11:40 and woke up around 7, and felt like I'd slept enough (this never happens)

Peak moment of today: Feeling FULL and not wanting to finish dinner. This PROVES that I can be satisfied with healthier foods and portions (MAJOR aha moment!)

Pit moment of today: Walking through the food court at the mall and having to take my hand back from reaching for the chicken sample the Japanese place was offering, and doing the same thing again with the sweetened black tea at Teavana.

Cravings:  Milk, and tortilla chips..and Japanese food...and earl grey tea. Beyond those, I've just been wanting more of the foods I've been eating. Oranges, Bananas, Celery...It's freakin' weird..

Symptoms: My period symptoms were worse than usual in the morning than the normally are. By mid day I felt fine. This is incredible. I will definitely be using healthy eating as a way to FEEL better. I can't remember the last period where I felt this comfortable(apart from this morning) on day one. I am really sleepy again too.

Emotional state: Optimistic, exhausted, excited, hungry.

Most looking forward to: Seeing some freakin' fantastic results, being able to say that I made it through the 3Day Refresh

xo

Erika

Do you want to know more about the 3 Day Refresh? Find me on facebook. www.facebook.com/erikakamezaki, or send me an email at erika.kamezaki@gmail.com and let's chat

Don't want to wait? Buy the 3 Day Refresh here:

http://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/-/shopping/BCP3D160?referringRepId=366613

The 3 Day Refresh | Day 1 Recap

I went to bed last night extremely nervous about starting the 3 Day Refresh this morning. I woke up a few times, and got up around 7:10. I had my 10 ounces of water, and got my kiddo up. I then went to my phone and set alarms for when I needed to be eating and drinking everything. What I didn't take into account was the time it would take to consume these. So as the day went on, as I finished something, I'd set the next alarm forward. The upside? I know my alarm system is perfect for tomorrow.

Breakfast consisted of a cup of diced watermelon (Yum!) and some good ol' chocolate Shakeology. They recommend having breakfast within an hour of waking, so this was around 7:50. I blended my Shakeology with water and ice, but I missed the milk I usually use. To kind of make up for that, in went some pure vanilla extract. I usually have Shakeology for breakfast anyways, so this meal didn't feel too much different. Combine my Shakeo with the fruit? I was FULL.

9:30am, I got my morning tea. Just some organic green tea with some liquid stevia. I am not a huge green/ herbal hot tea fan. I'm an earl grey girl all the way, but it did help to fill me up. I noticed myself feeling hungry thirty minutes after breakfast. I don't know if this was in anticipation for the rest of the day. 

10:40 ish, and it was morning snack time. Let me tell you, I was NOT excited to try the Fiber Sweep drink. I heard many a dissatisfied review from my friends. I knew that I NEEDED this cleanse though, so into my Nutribullet it went. In the time it took me to take a photo of this delightful concoction, it had begun to thicken already. Note to self for the next few days: blend it with more water, screw the picture, get it down ASAP. The consistency was the only off-putting thing about it though. It tasted like lemon water to me. It would not be my drink of choice given the option, but it's ONLY three days.

I waited until 12:20 ish to have lunch, still nervous that I'd be hungry. This included my first Vanilla Fresh Drink, along with 2 medium stalks of celery, hummus, and half of a large orange. This was my favorite meal of the day. I would have NEVER guessed that celery and hummus was something I'd look forward to. 

 

My afternoon snack ended up being sometime after 2. I had a cup of sliced cucumber, and 2 Tbsp of hummus. Delightful.

For my afternoon tea, I decided to ice it. SO much better this way. It was nice to drink with my food. I did forget about my tea halfway down, so this pushed my dinner til about 7

Dinner! Coconut Steamed Veggies. Can you say yum?! Not a huge fan of veggie broth, kinda tastes like boiled carrots to me, but a cup is not a big deal.

You do get a second Vanilla Fresh for the day with dinner. I chose to have that a little later as dessert. It worked out well because SOMEHOW, I felt full with just some veggies and broth.

Evening Tea was optional, and I didn't really want it, so I decided that water would be enough. I can always have it later should I change my mind.

Throughout the day, you NEED to be drinking a lot of water. I've been getting better about drinking AT LEAST half my body weight in ounces, but man did I chug it down today. I didn't track past 4 of my shaker cups of water (100 ounces), which is a significant amount of water for me, and BOY was I paying for it in bathroom trips :) 

Total weight loss and inches lost: I took my starting weight and measurements. I weigh myself in the mornings so we'll see tomorrow!

How does your clothing fit? No changes noticed

Sleep: Last night I tossed and turned as I always do. I think I woke up two or three times, and it took a short while for me to fall back asleep

Peak moment of today: Realizing that I LIKE celery...What?!

Pit moment of today: Watching the boyfriend eat tortellini stuffed with sausage..and have the whole house smell like delicious sausage. And not being able to have any.

Cravings: Cookies, roasted potatoes, tortellini, milk, and tortilla chips. I don't know if these were cravings so much as me thinking about what foods I want to eat after these three days.

Symptoms: I felt hungry between my meals, but not so much so that it got in the way of my day to day activities. As I write this, I have a slight headache. Detoxing is NOT FUN people.

Emotional state: Optimistic, exhausted, excited, hungry(I found an emotional trigger for my unhealthy eating habbits. Hurrah!)

Most looking forward to: Seeing some freakin' fantastic results, being able to say that I made it through the 3Day Refresh

xo

Erika

Do you want to know more about the 3 Day Refresh? Find me on facebook. www.facebook.com/erikakamezaki, or send me an email at erika.kamezaki@gmail.com and let's chat

Don't want to wait? Buy the 3 Day Refresh here:

http://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/-/shopping/BCP3D160?referringRepId=366613

A Bombshell In Progress

Let me preface this post by saying I AM FREAKING TERRIFIED TO POST THIS PHOTO. I wear clothing that hides the areas of my body that I'm not happy with, and 'accidentally' forget sunscreen so I can swim with a t-shirt to hide my torso, yet here I am, posting pictures of me in my underwear on the INTERNET. BUT, after a long and heartfelt chat with a close friend, and HOURS of soul searching and personal development, I've decided WHO CARES.

I am a mom- I have stretchmarks. 

I am a junk food lover- I am overweight. 

I am a work in progress- Progress is progress no matter how small. 

I am not perfect- I eat cheeseburgers and cookies more than I should.

I've tried starving myself, I've tried the fast five diet, I've tried that INSANE lemonade cleanse from Dr. Oz. I've tried weight watchers. I've tried a LOT of UNHEALTHY options. I've tried to exercise more and eat healthy foods, but that didn't last. I had no support. Sure weight watches has meetings, but eating smaller portions of crap food and counting points is NOT something that is healthy nor is it something I want to do for the rest of my life. But then I found challenge groups.

I found a group of women who had gone through incredibly similar struggles, and who were there to support me through EVERY SINGLE STEP of my process. When I fail, they are there to encourage me to put it behind me and keep going. When I succeed, they are there to celebrate. I used to focus on the number on the scale. While that IS something I need to pay attention to, it's not ALL I should focus on. These pictures are proof. No editing or blurring them out. No filters (though I REALLY wanted to use them, believe me). They are just me. Authentically, apologetically me.

There are SO many people that have lost more weight in less time. And that used to drive me nuts!(still does a bit, if I'm being honest) But this is MY journey. MY project. I've mistaken slow progress for no progress in the past. I'm still working on me, but these photos? These are what makes all the late night workouts and turned down cookies worth it. I'd rather be covered in sweat in front of T25, than covered in clothes at the beach.

Pour your heart and soul into EVERYTHING you do, and you will find ANYTHING is possible. If I can do it, you can too. And as nauseous as I am thinking about hitting 'publish', if this helps even ONE person, then it'll be worth it. Email me if you want to change your life, share my story if you know someone who will benefit from it.

xo,

Erika